Taking a Chance on Life

Rev. Rali M. Weaver

First Church and Parish in Dedham Unitarian Universalist

May 24, 2009

 

With the warmth of summer days coming on and the birds wakening us each morning with their brightest songs and the fat bees buzzing around pollinating everything it is difficult not to succumb to the urge to get into the dance of living.

 

There is succulence, a lushness, all around us even on rainy days like this, that is calling our spirits to life.

 

But how do we do it? How do we go about taking a chance on life?

 

I am certain that the concept of chance is something we each view differently. 

What is profitable or prudent to take a chance on is something we each hold a different idea about.

 

Our culture often talks of chance in terms of calculated risks of cause and effect. If we take a systematic scientific approach to life there appears to be only a fixed number of outcomes to any chance we take.

 

Many early Greek philosophers articulated a worldview that implies that every event, including human behavior, thought, decisions, and actions are determined by an unbroken chain of prior events.  This theory is called Determinism.

 

It seemed to them that all life was controlled by a system of causation -- that is until Aristotle. Aristotle included in his philosophical discourse two concepts for chance.  As he described it Tyche is a form of fortune or luck that operates in the human interactions.  There was predictably an Ancient Greek Goddess named Tyche and a Roman Goddess named Fortuna.  Both personified fortune and cities would worship them and art would be created in their image in the hope of bringing good fortune to the people.

 

The other form of chance as Aristotle saw it was Automation. For instance a boulder rolling downhill and toppling a tree could be determined by a tree growing up at the base of a mountain and a boulder that was loosened by seismic activity.  As Aristotle explained it through Automation only a few unrelated circumstances would create an individual chance event.

 

It wasnÕt until a letter written by Horace Walpole to a friend in 1754 that the idea of serendipity was articulated.   Serendipity: the occurrence and development of events by chance, in a happy or beneficial way. 

 

Serendipitous events are those good things that just happen for no reason at all: such as a song coming on the radio when you need to hear it, or a friend dropping by when you need to see them most. Serendipitous events arenÕt determined by our effort or hard work but are happy accidents that sustain our lives.

 

I have been curiously unable to find a word for unhappy accidents- the difficulties in life that come our way without rhyme or reason. 

 

Last week I went to the grocery store and when I returned home from the store I realized that I had a big dent in the front corner panel of my car.  This is a perfect example of what I mean by an unhappy accident.

 

Now I could have spent my energy thinking, Òif I had parked my car in a different location this wouldnÕt have happenedÓ and in so doing- blame myself for an accident over which I had no control.  I also could have spent time trying to figure out how the accident happened, and gotten angry at the person who did it for their irresponsible driving over which they might have had some control but I still would have had no control.  And I could have spent my time and energy fretting about all the big cars on the road that make little cars like mine more susceptible to dents of all kinds.

 

I am certain that I could have dissected this unhappy accident until I had a predictable cause and I probably wouldnÕt have changed a thing and I still would have been unhappy about it.

 

At the same time-- I am also certain that whomever put that the dent in my car didnÕt do it on purpose.  I donÕt think they woke up that morning and thought Òlet me find a Toyota I can beat upÓ. Even if they were aware that the bumper of their SUV hit my little Toyota I am certain that it was not intentional.

 

I am also quite confident that the universe was not trying to punish me for all my misdeeds or trying to teach me a lesson.  Accidents happen.

 

This is why we have things like No Fault insurance.

That unhappy accidents happen that have no discernable cause and effect and are not determined by some outside force is something we can all generally agree upon. 

 

On the contrary it is often difficult for us to accept serendipitous events.

If something pleasurable comes our way we generally either want to justify how we earned it or to figure out why we deserve it. 

 

But if we are to take a real chance on LIFE if we are to truly embrace its pleasures—we must release our expectations and accept what is before us. In this light happy and unhappy accidents become not something we must explain or justify but simply the every flowing fabric of our lives.

 

Last week I had the good fortune commute with Susan Sennot to the Unitarian Universalist Urban MinistryÕs Annual Meeting... (Susan I might add got to ride to the meeting in style, sitting in the back seat of my car because I couldnÕt open the passenger side front door)

 

If you arenÕt already familiar: Joseph Tuckerman founded the UU Urban Ministry in 1836.  The Rev. Tuckerman was famous for his commitment to empowering the underprivileged and underserved populations of Boston.  He was one of the first to articulate that Alcoholism is a disease and he approached his entire ministry in a relational way helping each individual to move toward wholeness through the support of the human relationship.

 

Today the UU Urban Ministry houses several programs that serve the needs of disenfranchised citizens in Roxbury and Boston.   The most familiar to us is Renewal House: A spiritually based emergency shelter that provides support for individuals and children escaping from abusive living situations. We send mittens and hats and gifts each year around Christmastime and because of our efforts and support we are invited each year to send three delegates to their annual meeting. 

 

This year the Director of Renewal House, The Rev. Susan Criscone, began her comments with a quote by Annie Dillard that fits perfectly with both the efforts of Renewal House and the question I hope we are pondering this morning.  The question was this:

                                                                                              

                                                                                                                                              Ò Are you living just a little and calling it a lot?Ó

 

The Rev. Criscone commented that this is the question that is asked of both the employees and the clients that enter Renewal House,

                                                                                                                                             

Imagine the Renewing Influence that question would offer if you were leaving your home and the familiarity you have known to jump empty handed to an unknown world.

 

                                                                                                                                              ÒAre you living just a little and calling it a lot?Ó

 

This question she offered also to the staff- caring individuals who open their hearts to form real relationships with the families who enter the shelter. Imagine the transformative mission to your work if you asked yourself each day:  

 

                                                                                                                                               ÒAre you living just a little and calling it a lot?Ó

 

The individuals that enter into Renewal House have for some time given over a part of their life to an abuser often leaving them feeling as though their lives were little.  And through the alchemy of building relationships over time their lives are transformed and renewed.  For most of the families that enter the shelter stumbling upon the program and entering the building and meeting the staff would constitute a serendipitous event.  Leaving chaos and encountering order- is not something you could ever plan to have happen, but is in fact a Òdevelopment of events by chance, in a happy or beneficial way.Ó 

 

The Client who described her journey at the Annual Meeting on Thursday explained in some detail that both before and after the Serendipitous happy accident of entering Renewal House a laborious period of letting go took place. And this is true for every transformation.  Whether we let go of something that is excruciatingly painful or something that is comfortable or pleasurable- letting go is not easy. 

 

We have all heard stories of the individuals who cannot leave. Individuals whose lives shrink or are taken due to domestic violence. We know all too well that the road between uncomfortable familiar feelings and discomforting unknown feelings can be a long and tumultuous one.

 

Even when we have things that might seem rationally good to let go of such as an abusive spouse or self imposed misery or sadness or heartache or grief or fear or insecurity-- these things over time can become quite familiar to hold on to. Our pain and our obstacles and our misguided expectations can become as a friends to us, this makes them difficult to let go of.   Even feeling small can feel comfortable.  And releasing what is familiar even to embrace the emptiness that is required for a development of events in a happy or beneficial way to take place__ can feel as if you are free falling.  Our hearts and minds can become accustomed to the way things are and new things – no matter how beneficial to us, are difficult for our minds and bodies to fully make sense of.

 

That said,  I believe this is the biggest chance we are asked to take over and over again if we are to  live our lives to the fullest.  To fully live in our biggest life we must leap from what is familiar into the unknown.  We must release old patterns over and over and make room for new life to enter in.

 

Lao Tzu a sixth century Chinese philosopher who is considered the founder of Taoism is quoted as saying ÒWhen I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.Ó

 

ÒWhen I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.Ó

 

Every individual spirit that enters into a time of transformation has experienced a letting go of something of who they were or thought they were to become what they might be. 

 

For instance o fully enjoy dancing we must first let go of our body consciousness. Letting go of anxiety about our body will not make us good dancers, but it will make it possible for us to dance.

 

In another way when I am cooking if I am anxious about the outcome my recipes rarely turn out well but if I let go of my expectations and relax and enjoy the process I can make a meal out of whatever comes my way.  In this way I not only enjoy the process more, but I usually enjoy the product more. To cook well takes time and practice but the transformative moment in any recipe is not so much the ingredients but the relaxed way in which they are put together.

 

The same process is true for everything. 

How many times have you seen someone desperate for love, and only when they stop looking for love, and have given up on love, do they find it.

 

Even writing a sermon for you every week requires that I relax and allow the sermon to write itself.  If I try to force it I generally cannot find the words.  If I have an expectation of greatness I cannot usually find an ending sentence.  But when I start and idea and allow it to cogitate in its own time, my own understanding of the meaning of the words liberate themselves.

 

All of life works in this way.  The looser the hold, the greater the leap, the more we let go and leave behind what doesnÕt serve us the more we can become what we might be. 

This is taking a chance at true living.

As we enter this summer and thaw from our winter colds this is what I wish for all of us.

That we may have life and have it more abundantly—

                                                                                              

to front only the essential facts,--

                                                                                                                                                                                             to process and leave behind all that doesnÕt fit

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             to give ourselves plenty of time to sort things out

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            and then to leap.