Sermon “Agape” Rev. Rali Weaver

For several years I have written different Valentine’s sermons on the same topic. Self Love. Being a single childless woman in my 40’s I must admit I am quiet skeptical of romantic love and have for many years had little to say about it other than – love yourself.

And to be quite frank romantic love which Valentines Day often represents- appears to me to be an obstacle to real love and true connection and so I have always found it difficult to find anything useful to say about it.

And it is of course common wisdom that unless you love yourself you cannot truly love others. So self love has always felt like an important place to start as well as a truth I could expound upon for Valentine’s Day.

That is until sometime last year I attended a lecture at Harvard Divinity School given by N.T Wright bishop of Durham in the Church of England where he was speaking about Christianity in the post-post modern world.

I must admit that what I am about to tell you is probably the greatest oversimplification of an idea ever given. But I can’t help myself because what struck me in his talk and what has lead me to this valentine’s sermon today is his idea that to move beyond the present paradigm Christian Churches would need move away from the concept of romantic love and focus more intently on the ideals of spiritual love- and more specifically Agape.

In the lecture N.T. Wright was searching to express the ways that Christianity could survive in a post- post-modern world. He described the shift in thinking from modern thought to post modern thought, made necessary by the rapid move from an industrial economy to a technological economy. He described the theological problem in three ways.

First he explained that in modernism humans believed that they could know things objectively about the world, while in postmodernism we have been reminded (and here I quote) “that there is no such thing as neutral knowledge (and that) Everybody has a point of view, and that point of view distorts. Everybody describes things the way that suits them. (and) There is no such thing as objective truth. Likewise, there are no such things as objective values, only preferences.”

His second dilemma focused around the deconstruction of the “I”. He explained that modernity valued a sense of the individual the “I” as a powerful qualifier- he then explained that post modernity has deconstructed the “I” until it remains just a temporary way of describing the self in an ever changing world.

His third and final description of the postmodern dilemma focused on the way that the Christian Church in the modern world described human nature in eschatological terms, which means in relation to what happens to us when we die. He describes the modern Christian message as focused on sin and salvation and death and judgment and heaven and hell. As he sees it the post-modern ideal is changing by moving beyond this eschatological narrative of heaven and hell to seek more freely for the gospel ideal of heaven on earth.

I mention all of this today because I think it helps to understand his conclusion but also because I believe that if we accept the framework he offers to describe this shift from modern to post modern thought we can describe Unitarian Universalists as essentially a post modern institution already.

Our principals and purposes already ascribe to a relative idea of the truth, and affirm and promote a sense of the ‘I’ that is ever changing --and our Universalist heritage has long since let go of ideas of heaven and hell in favor of a desire to make the world a better place here and now for all people. I mention all of this because while N.T. Wright’s lecture seemed to be focused on dismantling these frameworks that impede theological progress in Christianity, I believe we as Unitarian Universalists have already done so.

And his solution to the problems – which I saw as holding up a vision of Agape and spiritual community, I believe we are already well on our way to creating.

If you aren’t already familiar with the word Agape (and perhaps thought this sermon was titled agape) don’t worry. Agape is not a familiar word in our language – and is actually one of several Greek words that describe elements of love.

In ancient Greek the three common types of love are eros, phila and agape.

When you really think about it is no wonder that our culture is so confused on thoughts of love. Since we only seem to hold up one word for love as the ideal. As though romantic love is the only answer and those four letters could offer all the clarity for the many shades of love there are.

Eros is, of course, passionate love including sexual love which our culture gives a great deal of attention to and I would argue is held up as an ideal on Valentine’s Day with the representation of hearts and flowers. Eros does not actually have to be sexual in nature but is simply the increased love we carry for people which enables us to see the beauty in the other.

The concept of phila was developed by Aristotle and describes the loyalty to friends and community and family. The term is used only sparingly in the New Testament but is held up as valuable spiritual ideal in Christianity.

In ancient scripture agape is the love between Jesus and his “beloved disciple” and is the term for love used in scripture where it is written that “God is Love” and that you should “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

In modern day Greek the term Agape simply means love but the ancient meaning of Agape is not easily defined in English. It represents a form of spiritual love rarely held up in our culture. The form of the word agape was not used significantly in ancient literature until the Greek translation of scriptures called the Septuagint. In the Septuagint the word agape referred to affection, and brotherly love as well as spiritual love in terms of God’s love for humanity. The word Agape is also used to describe a meal eaten within the love of community. Somewhat like the membership dinner we had together here last night.

What struck me most in the Harvard lecture was N.T. Wright’s attempt to make sense of what would come after this age (which he called post-post-modernity-for lack of a better term) and he suggested that the answer is this agape type of love.

I am not sure if it is what he said or where his ideas lead my own but this concept of exploring our belief systems in relationship to our times is essential to what I believe churches are about. And I believe that our purpose as a church is to be a counter cultural institution. Not that we negate every aspect of our culture but that we hold up ideals that will help us to avoid cultural traps and live more full and deeply spiritual lives

As N.T. Wright began to talk about the problems of the present time and the potential problems for the future (for example the decrease of real interpersonal connections due to rapid technological advancements) it became easy to see the great need to provide opportunities for individuals to deepen their interpersonal connections with others.

There have been many such experiences for me since I arrived here at the First Church and Parish in Dedham. And while last night was a good example – it is not by any means the only one.

If you weren’t here last night perhaps you might remember the Holly Fair or the Fall dinner or the Fall Fair. Perhaps there was some other event where you were finally able to sit down – one on one-- to meet with another church friend over coffee or tea or while working the book table or shoveling the walks. Or maybe someone had you over for dinner or came to visit you while you were sick. I would argue that all of these moments are precious and wonderful encounters that are atypical connections in our world today where people are having increasing difficulty forming interpersonal bonds.

We all feel the urgency of our times. Times are changing rapidly and it is sometimes difficult to catch up. I hear your concerns sometimes that we are not doing enough to make a difference in the world, that there are so many problems and we must do something to change the course.

I feel that urgency sometimes too.

But what I want you to walk away with today, what I want to hold up as perfect and precious and worth celebrating this Valentine’s day are these simple interpersonal connections.

Unlike N.T. Wright I do not have any deeply theological foundation for what I am about to say. I have no great science to support this claim. I only have the subjective truth that I see. But I believe that dinners such as the one that we had last night as well as activities where we form new connections based only on the deep spiritual bond of brotherhood and sisterhood- I believe that these are the type of love that the world really needs right now. And they are not easy to create. As in the reading today points out, building human community is difficult. But that is exactly why it is the most important work we do as a spiritual community.

So this Valentine’s Day – when we talk of love let it be this agape connection.

And as we move forward as a church let us never loose sight of the precious and important work of building healthy connection where both the community and the individuals needs are served.